7 Phrases To Stop Saying to Kids With Food Allergies

Food allergies are no joke and yet if you’ve not ever had to deal with them — the seriousness is probably not on your radar. If you’re one of those families who can eat anything from anywhere without having to ask a million safety questions — you’re lucky. Your first experience of food allergies probably happens when your kid enters school and — gah — a note comes home that some kid in their class has a food allergy and now it’s become your problem.

If you feel that way — you suck. Sorry to be blunt, but you do. 

If your child is not able take a peanut butter sandwich to school because of some other kid (or kids) in their school and all you do is complain about how that affects you — please read these 7 phrases you’re probably saying that you need to stop now — and why.

1. “Kids with food allergies should sit at their own table or a separate room.”

A few years ago, and for many schools still, children with peanut or other food allergies were forced to sit at their own table, apart from the possible offending foods and other kids. It was the way it was done. Today, many schools are placing a school-wide ban on certain food items, like peanuts, which are not allowed in the school or anyone’s lunch. While I can see how this may be a struggle for a family who has never had to concern themselves with reading through ingredients, the idea of segregation is not the answer. The separate table puts a target on the children with allergies, pulls them away from their friend circle, and many kids find it embarrassing. And, it’s mean.

2. “They will have to learn to live in the ‘real world’ someday”

This one drives me the craziest, and I hear it often when it comes to food allergies and school policies. Parents don’t or can’t understand the serious reasons many schools are placing a nut-ban on the entire school and while it can be a little challenging, their child deserves to be safe over your slight inconvenience  People compare it to sheltering kids and making things easier for the families with allergies, while making things harder for the families who are allergy-free, but it’s not about sheltering, it’s about keeping kids safe. Kids don’t know everything they need to know to keep themselves safe right away — they learn it at the pace they learn everything else. They will grow to “live in the real world,” but first they need the safety to be able to learn what they need to know to make sure they are safe.

3. “Why do I have to go through the hassle for someone else’s kid?”

There are many people who can’t seem to look past their own situation and it’s not a nice looking quality on anyone. Would you want to send your child to school knowing that they could die from the smallest amount of a certain food product? I am going to go out on a limb and say — not likely. While these nut-bans may be a slight inconvenience when you have to slap a piece of cheese into a sandwich instead of peanut butter, it is certainly not a big deal in comparison to those kids who could be seriously injured or die. School is a right all kids should have — life-threatening food allergies or not.

4. “It’s just strict parenting.”

I’ve heard this from doctors and other adults when I talk about the dietary restrictions my own children are on. It’s not about being strict for the sake of making up my own rules, but when it comes to food allergies and my kids’ safety, you better believe that I am going to follow the necessary precautions and be that strict with others doing the same. It’s far more than any control issue and while parents who are raising kids with food allergies may seem “extreme” to you, trust me, I bet they wish they didn’t have to deal with it either.

5. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

It can be hard to understand that a small bread crumb or smelling peanut butter can be as threatening as a loaded gun for some children, but it’s true. Most parents aren’t trying to overplay the serious situation, and children for certain are not playing it up to be larger than it is. Just because you may not understand it, does not make it untrue. Having this type of attitude is what leads to kids “teasing” and “bullying” kids with food allergies by feeding them their offending food — which never really ends well for the child. Compassion people — we teach it to our kids, so show it.

6. “I am sure they will outgrow it.”

You know, it can happen and it has for some kids’ allergies, but this is not always the case. There are people who believe that allergies are developed because of over-strict parents who don’t “expose” their children to certain foods. While some kids could outgrow the allergy, it certainly doesn’t make it any less serious now and the precautions that need to be taken now.

7. “It’s not my problem.”

Growing up, have you ever been left out of something all the other kids were doing and remember that ick feeling you had? Imagine having that feeling constantly because someone thought it was just easier to not include you for something you can’t control or change? That’s what kids with food allergies feel when they’re just not invited to events because it’s easier not to make their food restriction your problem. That’s what kids feel when people insist there be a “allergy-free table” at a school so they’re segregated. It’s not fair and while it’s not your problem all the time — it’s a child!

What phrases are you so over hearing towards kids in school with food allergies?

Photo credit: adapted from mateus, | Flickr

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Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is Editor-In-Chief of the lifestyle website byDevan . Gluten-free, vegan eater, and home-schooling mother to 4, Devan believes you can have all the finer things in life -- even when you don't have a lot of time.

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